As I drove home from Portland, Oregon last Friday, my muscles began to ache and I could feel my energy draining. By Saturday morning my body burned with fever and soreness as I began a 48 hour vigil with one of the many flu virus that so many millions get afflicted by each year. By Monday morning the fever had subsided, and fatigue was what remained. But there was a blessing to this illness, an ego-dissolving vulnerability that allowed my soul to remind me how my own healing is interconnected with the healing of the earth.
When I am in good health, all my mental facilities respond so well to the training our culture has provided, work hard and fast, don’t dare slow down, be efficient, and all the ways to numb myself from the destructive behavior of our culture. Good health we can always receive with gratitude, but a re-membering of our humanity might be unveiled when we fall into illness and suddenly what we thought was so important begins to shift, as we dance with the increased awareness of our own mortality and listen to our own inner longing.
So there I lay in bed for two days, minimal thinking, just being and feeling immense gratitude for all the privilege that surrounded me. My wife who was also recovering from the flu spent most of the weekend in bed with me, a mutual sweetness of shared quietude and presence, a connection that we had forgotten in our everyday busy lives.
May this personal experience guide me to a continued conversation with my soul, and inspire me to offer my uniqueness in some small way to the healing of our world.
Namaste,
Werner
